Dangerous Meetings
by suddenlyliterate
Summary: Alfred F. Jones was a little bit too bored and unsatisfied with his life as a prominent mastermind behind multi-million dollar scams. There was also a lack of danger, because sitting behind a desk was totally not glamorous. So when he is offered the opportunity to meet a handsome detective in the bakery near his home, he takes it. USUK AU multichapter.
1. Chapter 1

Alfred F. Jones both loved his job, and hated it.

For one, he was able to use the full extent of his mental faculties and constantly live on the edge. On the other hand, he was always having to use all his mental faculties and was living dangerously.

It was exhilarating; sitting down at his desk and planning something that was a work of art in itself: a great crime that was untraceable to his modest apartment and shabby work desk; a crime which everyone was aware of because of its scale and tremendous complexity. Unfortunately, only his clients and those he'd dealt with in the past ever knew the genius behind the great scams that earnt them millions -even billions- of dollars that made him a respectable figure in the crime underworld.

Perhaps it was the lack of recognition that bothered him so. Or maybe it was because he was always in danger without it seeming like he actually was in danger. There was always a possibility that a great mind not unlike his own would unravel every strand of the web that made up his heists. But it seemed so unlikely as he sat with his cup of coffee at his stained desk by his beaten window.

Or maybe it was the boredom.

Yes, Alfred. F. Jones always had his convoluted schemes to occupy himself with...but it wasn't _enough_. Sometimes he wished for someone that could talk on his level. Someone who wasn't _predictable_. Someone interesting, not boring.

Oh, he could dream. But Alfred F. Jones didn't know that maybe today would be the day when his boredom would be assuaged by a fiery British detective, and when the danger became delightfully real.

* * *

Alfred F. Jones woke up as usual to the ringing of his quite annoying alarm clock; the one his Canadian half-brother insisted would be the only one to ever get him out of bed in time for school. Of course, Alfred was already long out of school, but he'd grown quite attached to it. But that didn't mean that he didn't want to smash it into bits that morning.

Alfred groaned as he flung himself at his alarm clock, falling out of his bed in his valiant attempt at vanquishing the devilish device. He let out an oof as he sat up on his floor, blanket tangled around his body. Alfred pulled himself to his feet, sleepily tucking his blanket around his form as he padded in the direction of the wondrous machine that gave him his life-sustaining cup of coffee every morning.

He stopped at the machine and went through the familiar motions while reading his to-do-list for the day that he'd written before going to bed the night before. His day was frustratingly clear; he hadn't had a lot of clients as of late, and the long-term heists he had going on were at the most boring of stages.

As Alfred sipped his lovely cup of coffee, he planned out what he was going to do all day. A visit to the bakery across the street from his apartment would be nice, he guessed. After that, it was probably going to be going to the mall and browsing through the game store for a video game that he hadn't beaten yet. Maybe he would even succumb to the part of the store he always avoided...the_ horror_ section. But most likely not. And then he would go to the park and jog his normal laps around the lake. And so on his plan continued, filled with time killers that would keep him occupied until his next big job.

His plan was a good one, Alfred thought as he yanked on a worn pair of jeans and a faded sky blue shirt. Just as great as all the ones he'd thought of days before. Definitely.

He grabbed his keys and smartphone as he loped out of his apartment, locking it behind him as he took a deep breath. Time to foray into the real world.

Alfred blinked at the sunlight as he left his building, his glasses slipping slightly as he walked across the road. The bakery he was headed to was one of Alfred's favourites; it had many kinds of sweet cakes that reminded him so much of the pastries back in Virginia. He adopted his usual charming smile as he entered the quaint bakery, smiling at the nice Hungarian woman behind the counter as he walked up to the display.

"Hello, 'Lizzy!" Alfred said, waving a hello as he bent down to choose his pastry of the day.

"Hi there Alfred! It's been a while. How have things been going for you?" The Hungarian woman smiled sneakily. "Did you find anyone you like?"

Alfred turned pink as he chose a tall chocolate cake and yanked out his wallet. "Everything's been going fine. Why do you ask?"

Elizaveta looked at him with a motherly expression on her face. "You're always so lonely! I know what can cheer you up!" She tapped Alfred's nose.

"What?" Alfred asked, bemused.

"There's an attractive looking man sitting by the window. Haven't I told you how that window seat seems to attract all kinds of single people?" Elizaveta took the cake out, handed it to Alfred, and made shooing motions with her hands in the man's direction.

"How do you know he see swings that way?" Alfred asked, suspicious.

"Well...you see, he came tottering in a few days back here when I was about to close up. He was piss drunk and I think he was muttering about the lack of attractive men in the city. He passed out here and I think he's going to become a daily customer," Elizaveta stated confidently. "He hasn't missed coming here in the morning a day since. He's a detective, you know. Isn't that cool?"

"Well, I guess the Hero can go and say hello!" Alfred tossed out a few bills and grabbed his cake before sauntering over to the table by the window where said man was sitting. A detective, huh...Well, Alfred was bored. If he was going to get rid of his boredom sometime, he was going to have to lean on the dangerous side. On Alfred's closer inspection, he was indeed attractive, having a messy bedhead of blond hair and eyes of a emerald green. He also possessed rather large eyebrows, but Alfred thought that they added character. As Alfred did his inspection, the man looked up with a scowl.

"Good morning. How may I help you?" the man stated, taking a sip of his tea.

"'Lizzy told me you're single and on the lookout for attractive men, so I thought I'd come over here and put an end to your journey!" Alfred stated confidently. The man was British! Alfred rather liked British accents.

"Sod off," the man muttered after giving Alfred a glance, looking out the window.

"Now hey, that's not nice! I came over here to keep you company on this obnoxiously sunny day and you go and tell me off!" Alfred plopped into the chair opposite the man. "I'm Alfred. And you are?"

"Will you leave me alone if I tell you?" the man inquired, a hint of a smile peeking through his annoyed facade.

"Obviously not. That would be too boring!" Alfred grinned, digging into his sizable cake slice.

"Alright then. I'm Arthur," the man said, a real smile on his face now.

"Well then Arthur. Do you have any plans for today?" Alfred winked at Arthur before inhaling the rest of his cake.

"I don't have any cases right now, so no," Arthur stated with a smirk as he downed the rest of his tea.

"Well then I suggest we go and do something together! Because I also don't got any plans!" Alfred cheered slightly at the end. At least the lack of clients looking to win some money had some use after all.

"Well, why not? Also, it's 'have,' not 'got.'" Arthur stated, gathering his cup and plate and gravitating toward the counter. "Thank you, Elizaveta. I heard you were responsible for setting this twat on me?" he asked, pointing a thumb at Alfred attempting to balance his dirty dishes on his head, shakily making his way to the counter amidst stares from the other customers in the bakery.

Elizaveta giggled a bit, taking the dishes from Arthur. "He's a sweetie. You'd like him."

Arthur glanced back just in time to see the dishes fall off Alfred's head and see him catch them, barely. "I guess so. I'll have my hands busy, I'm sure. Thanks for the effort."

Elizaveta smiled fondly. "Have fun, then!" She waved at Arthur and as he dragged the American out of the bakery, already lecturing him on proper conduct in public.

* * *

I may or may not continue this. It was posted with no planning, and it's a bit rushed at the end. I can't pull out more than a thousand and a few hundred words at a time. It'll probably depend on if I get any reviews.

I just wanted to write Alfred as a badass crime mastermind but then it evolved into something different from my original plan. That's probably why the beginning doesn't seem too connected to the rest. Sorry about that; I didn't want to change that because it was what inspired the rest, anyway.

Not beta-d, but I tried to fix mistakes!

I asked my friend how to end this, and she told me to end it with a bang.

So here you go.

BANG.


	2. Where Our Characters Jump Off a Roof

Alfred F. Jones knew that his job was bad.

In essence, he was paid to scam millions of people's hard work into giving his clients, and therefore in extension himself, money.

However, he actually didn't make much from his work. He felt a little guilty that his salary was basically a deduction from everyone elses'. So, he'd arranged that the majority of the money went to his clients (who were very pleased with that arrangement) and gave himself a modest amount to live by, and leaving a decent sum in case he needed more high-tech equipment. Alfred was deeply uncomfortable with the situation, but he didn't have a choice.

See, Alfred got roped into the criminal world at a rather young age. When it became obvious that Alfred was good for more than groundwork, he began rising at a steady rate. As he did so, he learnt and learnt so many things about the criminal world that it was as if he was schooled in crime. He finished basic high school, and then became a crime figure. He didn't have any education beyond that. He sometimes considered taking the risk of quitting, and getting a low-paying job at a convenience store, perhaps, but such a step down was a little too much for Alfred's sizable pride. So he stayed at an uncomfortable stalemate.

If he was presented a chance to quit without death following, and had a job offering that suited him, he would change his life. But for now, he dealt.

* * *

"You don't go around balancing plates on your head in public! How old are you? Eight?" Arthur rambled, dragging Alfred out of the bakery. "Seriously!"

"Well, I was wondering how good my balance was, ya know? So I did that thing like the princesses did when they were learning to walk all fancy by balancing books on their heads. Except I didn't have any books around. So I used a plate!" Alfred said cheerily, perfectly fine with being dragged somewhere. Surprises were fun!

"Also, since you asked, I'm the charming age of 21! How about you? You don't look old..." Alfred trailed off as if in thought, hoping to incite some form of reaction from Arthur.

"Of course I don't look old you bloody dimwit! I'm only 24!" Arthur said, tips of his ears turning red. "And so you fancy yourself a princess?" Arthur asked in retribution.

"Well, why not? I can be the prettiest fair lady in all the land, have servants waiting on me, and spend my day prancing around on my pet unicorn!" Alfred was really starting to enjoy messing with the British detective.

"Unicorn?" Arthur asked suspiciously, face brightening somewhat.

"Yah! Because I'm a princess in a fairytale land filled with unicorns and fairies and gnomes and munchkins!" Alfred cheered, taking a glance around. It seemed like Arthur was dragging him to the centre of the city. They raced across the traffic-plagued street next to them, Arthur deftly avoiding all the cars, leaving Alfred to smack himself repeatedly into the cars as he was swung around sharply.

"Hey! You could'a warned me!" Alfred frowned, rubbing his hip with his free hand when they'd finished traversing the street, before Arthur pulled him forward again.

"Sorry; I saw an opportunity to cross. And munchkins are short people from the land of Munchkin Country from the Wizard of Oz," Arthur noted.

"Where are we going anyways?" Alfred questioned as their route led them closer to the city centre.

"To a nice little place I found a few weeks ago," Arthur said, speeding up slightly. "Careful, princess," he said with a smirk.

They had reached a busy intersection, and Arthur broke into a full-out sprint. Alfred started, eyes wide, as Arthur made a sharp turn onto a rickety staircase that clung on the side of the ancient building at the intersection. Alfred opened his mouth to protest, but found that he couldn't speak as the detective whipped him around the sharp turns of the staircase. The staircase looked to be made of iron and as if it had seen the world go by for countless years. Flecks of rust painted a grisly red picture as Arthur burst out onto the rooftop of the building, slowing to a stop.

"Are you ready?" Arthur asked, looking back at Alfred, puffing air with eyes wide. Alfred looked up at him with a face that clearly spoke "are you crazy?"

"It's the easiest way to reach it," Arthur said, smirking as he turned toward the edge of the building.

Alfred swallowed. It couldn't be; nobody was that crazy...or was it? He was the one who was always bored and unsatisfied. Here was the danger and adventure that he was lacking from behind a desk. Here was a chance to let go and follow the detective with a light heart. Here was the time for his life to change. And Alfred knew that going along with whatever plan the crazy detective had would be the change he was waiting for. He straightened, calmed his breath, and gazed at Arthur's glowing forest eyes with a determined expression without a hint of fear.

"Let's go then!" he shouted, racing in front of Arthur and jumping off the building, landing rather heavily on the balls of his feet. Arthur landed lightly and gracefully, despite being pulled along with little warning.

Alfred glanced at Arthur. "Where to, detective?"

"Detective?" Arthur looked at Alfred shrewdly. "I guess Elizaveta told you?"

"Of course!" Alfred said loudly, while a voice in his head whispered that the prospect of danger was what drew him to follow Elizaveta's advice. That's not it, Alfred thought furiously to that voice. I didn't start talking to him because of something silly like that! But the voice in his head declined to respond. He knew he was tempting fate by hanging around a detective, god forbid his fellow crime members thought he was becoming a liability.

"Just follow me. You up for an adventure?" Arthur asked.

* * *

Arthur honestly could not believe that he was showing some cheery American his quiet place. He also wasn't sure why he'd chosen the scariest -and scenic- route to it either. Perhaps it was something in the American's eyes; a glimpse of desperation as he asked the detective if they could do something, and a glint of long-suffered boredom in the depths of blue. It reminded him of his own boredom when there were no cases around. That was what led him to teaching himself how to move around the city without touching the ground.

He was too nice, Arthur decided.

Arthur dragged the American to the edge of the rooftop and jumped, letting go of the American's hand before landing lightly on a ledge just below the rooftop's level. The American followed, executing the jump in the same way as before; a bit too heavy and not enough bend in the knees. Arthur grabbed onto a windowsill and began carefully walking sideways.

"You should bend your knees more when you land. It'll be easier on you," Arthur advised, reaching the end of the ledge. He grabbed onto the corner of the building and jumped at an air conditioner across the alley. One foot pushed off of it for a bit of extra height as he pulled himself onto someone's balcony, almost upending a pot of flowers. Key word: almost. He was way too fit and practiced at this to make such a mistake. Arthur's brows furrowed as he leapt into the air, hands catching the low, slanted roof. He flipped himself up, and winked at the shocked American. Said American was staring at Arthur with disbelief, mouth open and jaw dropped.

"Close your mouth before a fly flies in! And come on, it's not that hard. Just remember what I said about your knees." Arthur beckoned with a smile, hand outstretched as he crouched on the slanted, lined roof.

* * *

Hell no. Alfred repeated that in his head with the most obnoxious stereotypical black woman voice that he could muster. He had watched with shock as Arthur leapt off the ledge across a gap of at least two yards. His foot lightly tapped an outside air conditioning unit, and he catapulted upwards like some kind of heavenly ambassador returning to the heavens. Arthur grabbed onto a balcony railing and pulled himself up, Alfred noting that Arthur must have had stronger upper arms than his slender figure had lead him to believe. When Arthur flipped himself onto the roof, Alfred felt mesmerized by that action performed with the grace of an Olympic gymnast. He dimly registered his mouth opening as the detective faced him, taunting him, but at the same time, encouraging Alfred to attempt the manoeuvre.

Alfred was always good at sports when he was in high school. He'd played basketball, football, soccer, and baseball, excelling in most of them. Many had believed that he would get a sports scholarship, not knowing that Alfred's path was already set to the life of crime he'd entered years ago. However, he'd fallen slightly out of practice with anything physical, as his job was mostly a desk job, and his boredom didn't motivate him to work out a lot. Alfred knew all of that very well, which was the main reason he was terrified beyond words. But he couldn't look cowardly in front of Arthur, this random stranger who Alfred already trusted, despite how different their worlds were. So that was what led Alfred to inch up to the edge of the ledge, and remember his longing for adventure and danger as he flew off the ledge.

Alfred's eyes were wide, seeing things with an unusual clarity given to him the burst of adrenaline. His foot flew in front of him instinctively, landing on the air-conditioning unit solidly, eliciting a metallic screech as he pushed off, arms automatically reaching for the wrought iron railing of the balcony. His body smashed into the railing rather painfully, and Alfred threw a leg over it and slowly slid down to the floor of the balcony. His head, resting on the cement, looked upward into worried green eyes glowing like forest leaves, backlit.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry; I didn't realize that this was pretty scary for someone who's doing this for the first time and you could've been hurt I didn't even have you practi-" Arthur was cut off by Alfred's breathy whisper.

"That was the most awesome thing ever."

Sky blue eyes clear with a new light stared into the glowing leaves of green that Arthur possessed.

"We're almost there. Can you make it onto this roof?" Arthur asked a bit anxiously. If Alfred couldn't, they would have to figure out a way for him to get off the balcony, because heaven forbid if the owner saw them as they were now, Alfred lying prone on the ground with Arthur on his knees next to him, leaning over him until the distance in between them was the kind that normally the forerunner of a kiss.

Alfred sat up slowly, dazed. "Yah!" His eyes glowed with renewed vigor as he stood up, brushing himself off. "Show me that flip thingy that you did?" Alfred asked hopefully.

Arthur obliged, executing it slowly and gracefully once more, except this time Alfred was much closer and had a better view of how that lithe body propelled itself into the air. Alfred moved up underneath the roof, and took a deep breath before jumping as high as he could. His hands latched onto the roof and he swung forward, and then back, and then forward again. Then, in a move that Alfred only distantly understood, he found himself lying on his back on the roof, with green eyes shining with approval watching. The sky was rather pretty today, Alfred noted, looking at the faint wisps of hair-like cloud that caressed the sky. But it could never match Arthur's eyes, he decided. They had their own category.

Arthur tapped his foot, interrupting Alfred's musings. "Alfred, if you'd get up and move over six metres towards me, you'll see why I went to all this trouble to bring you here."

Alfred grumbled under his breath, pulling himself to sit up, rubbing a bit at his back. He looked over in Arthur's direction, and saw something akin to a wall on the roof, which was what Arthur was currently perching on like some light-footed bird. Alfred curiously climbed up the slanted roof, noticing that it flattened out for about three yards before it began to slant down the other side. He walked up to the wall, made out of some kind of netting, and touched it. Alfred was surprised when the netting seemed to be packed with earth. He grabbed a steel bar that seemed to be reinforcing the netting, and used it to pull himself over, shaking the earthy wall before falling in, Arthur hopping after him.

"Welcome to my quiet place," was all that Arthur said as he plopped into a chair, looking up at Alfred. Alfred could only stare in amazement. The wall wasn't a wall, but more like some kind of planting structure. While the other side of the wall seemed to be made of packed earth, this side had a thick, dense carpet of small plants growing on it. When Alfred looked at it altogether, he noticed that the plants seemed to be planted along some kind of swirly design that he could make out because of subtle variations in plant species. He turned and saw that this living wall enclosed an area of about three yards by at least 15, filled to the brim with all kinds of plants. There was only one chair: the one that Arthur was occupying, and one table that held a few books.

"Holy shit. You have a secret garden on some random roof in the middle of the city?!" Alfred said rather loudly, plopping down onto the roof by Arthur's feet (as the rest of the space seemed to be covered by planters and tubs of plants.

"No, I just found this one day and decided to keep it," Arthur blandly stated, a sarcastic tone creeping in his voice, to Alfred's irritation. "Hey, it's weird! No need to be snarky!"

"Well, do you like it?" Arthur asked, corners of his mouth just slightly upturned.

"Of course I do! But I find it hard to believe that you have to jump around the city to much to get here. That must suck," Alfred mused, leaning over and rubbing a plant's leaf between his fingers. "How do those plants on the wall even live like that?"

Arthur looked away, as if sheepish. "I actually can reach this place pretty easily using a staircase on the other side of the building. The way I took you was shorter though, and you looked like you wanted some kind of adventure..." Arthur trailed off. "And, those little plants give me a lot of trouble. I have to trim them a lot, and it takes a lot of watering. But they grow pretty well on the wall," he stated proudly. "I think that the previous owner got tired of caring for them. I had no problem taking over."

"This place is really awesome. I didn't take you for one who likes gardening, Artie!" Alfred said, grinning broadly at Arthur's face, which seemed to be turning red.

"Don't call me 'Artie'."

"Why not? I think by this point we're friends right? You did show me your secret garden thingy on the roof and so on, and friends give each other nicknames!" Alfred confidently stated his logic, which was impeccable and would trump whatever Arthur threw at him. Or so he thought.

"You bloody imbecile! My name is Arthur!" Arthur shouted, face darkening purple. But, his face suddenly paled and he looked at Alfred with wide green eyes. "We're friends?" Arthur asked, looking at Alfred with an expression of shock, and something moved in his eyes, making Alfred curious.

"Of course!" Alfred said reassuringly, leaping at the detective and giving him a crushing hug.

* * *

The whole city rang with some kind of scream, which sounded suspiciously like 'wanker.'

Elizaveta giggled slightly as she polished the countertop.

* * *

AN: Chapter 2 is finally here! I've decided to continue (thank you all for the reviews; you warmed my heart!).

However, I'm having a bit of trouble keeping the characters consistent, so if you notice something, would you please mention it in a review so I can keep it in mind for future chapters? Remember also that reviews feed the muse!

Also, I'm thinking about having Arthur keep using the nickname 'Princess' after this. What do you guys think?

A reviewer has requested longer chapters, so I'll be doing my best to deliver! My writing process is pretty inconsistent though, but I'll try not to leave you guys handing for more than a week!


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